Interviewing Your Grandparents: Questions That Uncover Gold

There is an art to the interview, and most of us have never been taught it. We ask broad questions and get broad answers. We receive summaries when we needed details.

The Principle of the Specific Question

The question 'Tell me about growing up' invites a summary. The question 'What did you have for breakfast on a school day?' invites a memory. The more specific the question, the more specific the answer — and specific answers contain actual stories.

Questions About Objects

Ask your grandparent to show you something they have kept for a long time. Objects are memory triggers. 'What is this?' becomes 'Where did you get it?' becomes 'What was happening in your life when you got it?' Half an hour of rich narrative can emerge from a single old photograph or a worn piece of jewellery.

Questions About the Ordinary

We tend to ask about extraordinary events — the war, the immigration, the big move. But the ordinary is just as valuable. What did a normal Saturday look like? What was the worst job you ever had? What did your parents argue about?

Questions That Tend to Work

What is the hardest decision you ever made? What do you know now that you wish you had known at twenty? What do you most hope I remember about you? What is the story you have never told anyone?

Recording and Preserving

Always ask permission before recording. Most people are glad you did. Transcribe the recording promptly, while context is still fresh. Then consider what format will give these stories the life they deserve.

The best conversations happen when we stop talking and start asking.